** SLUG WARZ III - GAME THREAD **

[slappybrown]

Salt pavel

Also, who was Shaftnutz calling for that got him eated. Target them next.

Personally, shafty struck me as the real seer. He reacted very strongly to our choices, almost as if he knew something we didn't. I kept alluding to it, while still trying to be vague, to let him know he was being obvious.

I'd guess, the slugs got the same impression. I'm just glad they were wrong, and grateful for shafty's sacrifice in drawing the slugs toward him.

salt rip out Pavel's throat

I am convinced you are the alpha dagny.

[redwill]

Day 4 is over in the garden.

The workers are almost done with their daily chores. Someone says to Pavel Bure, "We've gotta finish up the harvesting in the north fields. We're expecting a call from our friends in the next garden. Why don't you go home and wait for the call?"

"Uh, OK. Sure," says Pavel. He goes home and sits down to have a bit of a snack. After a while, there's a knock on his door. Several garden-dwellers are there, with serious looks on their faces. "Uh, hi folks," says Pavel. "Why so serious? Uh, come in. Yeah, come on in and make yourselves comfortable. Heh heh. Can I get anybody anything?" Then Pavel notices that several other garden-dwellers have come in from the kitchen. Apparently they let themselves in the back door. Still others are standing around in the front yard, watching through the window. "Hey, what's up?" says Pavel with a forced easiness.

"Sit down, Pavel," says a garden-dweller. Pavel sits, twitching nervously.

"You have to answer for canaan, Pavel. You fingered him to the garden and he wasn't a slug."

"Guys, you got it all wrong," says Pavel.

"Not all of us are guys," says dagny, who's standing nearby. She stares daggers at Pavel. There's bloodlust in her eyes.

"Oh, no!" says Pavel, half-rising. "Heh, heh. I didn't mean that. I just ..."

"Sit down, Pavel," says the first garden-dweller. He pauses in thought. "Ah, that farce you played with the garden-dwellers! You think that would fool us? Uh ... twice?"

"People, I'm innocent. I swear on the rutabagas," says Pavel. "Please don't do this to me."

"Somebody get him a drink," says the garden-dweller. "Don't be afraid, Pavel. Do you think we'd kill you now? You're our pet slug. Go ahead. Drink. Drink." Pavel drinks a little bit, but his hands shake noticibly. "Only don't tell us that you're innocent," continues the garden-dweller. "Because it insults our intelligence and makes us very angry. Now, then. You're a slug, aren't you, Pavel?"

Pavel looks around at the aggressively belligerent garden-dwellers surrounding him. He smiles ingratiatingly and says, "No, no, people. Really! You got it all wrong! I'm town, see? I just pretended to be the seer! I really thought canaan was sluggy! Really! I'm town! I'm town!"

"WTF is 'town'? WTF is a 'seer'?" mumbles the crowd.

"That's enough!" shouts a garden-dweller. He leaps to Pavel and grabs a handful of hair. "Now you'll tell us that you're a slug and who the other slugs are, or I'll rip out every hair on your head!!"

"You can peel me bald and I will not tell you that," says Pavel, "even if you pluck my head a thousand times."

Just then, another garden-dweller says, "Hey, look at this." He has been picking through Pavel's snack plate. The remains are some bit of flesh and bone of some animal, seemingly the part of the body where the spine meets the base of the skull. Then someone notices a scrap of bright-red fabric in amongst the remains of the food. Examining it, they can barely make out the words "Property of shafnutz05. Obama-Biden 2012! Yes We Can!"

"AH!" says the crowd. Thus they had confirmed two things to their satisfaction: That shafnutz was really a closet socialist, and that Pavel Bure is a slug.

The crowd lunges at Pavel Bure, intent to salt him immediately. "NO! NO! NO!" shouts a garden-dweller. "We've got time! Heh heh. We've got time ... time to kill." The crowd pauses and recovers itself. "Yes," the garden-dweller says. "We've got time." Then he slowly looks deep into Pavel's eyes. "And so do you," he says with an evil laugh.


The garden metal-workers get immediately to work forging their great treat for Pavel.

Until that is done, Pavel Bure first has thin metal shims inserted under each of his fingernails and toenails. The nails will all be pulled out in time, but for the moment, they are left in place and the shims are twisted occasionally.

Next, pliers are applied to his testicles. It turns out that he has two round testicles and something resembling a very small pentagon. He will eventually be castrated with a wooden spoon.

Next, the garden smears Pavel's head with honey and hangs him upside-down over the very angry and troublesome fire-ant colony at the edge of the garden. The colony is constantly stirred to even greater anger by several very willing volunteers.

His face unrecognizable from the thousands of ant bites, Pavel is then tied to a flat rock. A large metal bowl is filled with rats. The bowl is inverted onto Pavel's stomach and a fire is started on the bowl. Eventually, as the bowl heats up, the rats go mad in their attempt to escape and begin gnawing into Pavel's stomach. The garden lets this go on for some time, but makes sure Pavel remains alive.

Finally, the great work is done: a Brazen Anna Kournikova has been fashioned. Made of bronze, she is hollow. Pavel is placed inside and a fire lit underneath. Very cunning metal-work has been done so that tubes and pipes fill the Brazen Anna's head. When Pavel begins to shout and scream as he is roasted alive, these sounds are translated through the workings of the Brazen Anna's head to emerge from her "mouth" as moans of "Oh, Sergei! III LLLLOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!"

As the screams decrease, the garden knows the end is near. They take the wretched, putrid, entirely mutilated and mostly cooked body of Pavel Bure out of the Brazen Anna. Only then are the bags of salt brought forward. "Have you anything to say, vile traitor?" asks a garden-dweller.

Pavel's voice is only a harsh, rasping whisper -- filled with spittle and the sounds that come from lungs turned to liquid. "I'm town, see? I'm town I tell ya!" But when the salt is applied in mass quantities, the already twisted and wasted body of Pavel Bure shrivels up into the unmistakable form ... of a SLUG.

The garden takes what little is left of Pavel Bure's body. They take turns taking pictures with it. They mock it and laugh at it. Finally, they put it in a small cannon and shoot it in the direction of Russia.

The garden is understandably satisfied. But they know they've still got more work to do. And who knows what the night will bring.


The garden of BobDylanIsTheTruth has 16 residents remaining:

- beerman
- Malkamaniac
- slappybrown
- MWB
- Troy Loney
- mac5155
- newarenanow
- sdm5055
- Juice
- dagny
- Senka
- Zarovich
- Twisted Wrister
- crayz
- cup keeper
- Corvidae


But in reality there are:

12 regular garden-dwellers
1 Gardener (seer)
1 Alpha Slug
2 Slugs


Gone from the garden:

- SolidSnake (the Manduca Sexta), slimed and eaten (eated?) by slugs during Night 1.
- PensFanInDC (the Bird), salted by the garden on Day 1.
- Dan H (a regular garden-dweller), salted unmercifully by the garden on Day 2.
- Letang Is The Truth (a regular garden-dweller), slimed and eaten by slugs during Night 3.
- canaan (a regular garden-dweller), salted by the garden on Day 3.
- shafnutz05 (a regular garden-dweller), slimed and eaten by slugs during Night 4.
- Pavel Bure (a regular slug), salted a bit by the garden on Day 4.


Alpha: Whom do you want to recruit or eat?
Gardener: Whom do you want to investigate?

[slappybrown]

Let me revise -- convinced you are a slug. Probably too agressive to be an alpha, but could easily be a slug.

[newarenanow]

Oh well, note to self next game lay low. These guys hate anyone that tries to figure things out.

It's not so much about laying low.

You can be active and helpful, and I using the seer thing was a nice tactic, but the whole canaan thing is what went over the edge.

It was a bad play if you really are a villager. It was too over the top, and it caused a ton of confusion in the village.

YOu know what you are. But the rest of us don't. You have to look at it from someone elses perspective. It's easy to say "why can't they see that I'm a villager" it's because we can't. You can't trust anyone in this game except for a very, very small group of people.

So when you are saying you are a bunch of different things, and then throwing names out saying they definitely slugs, etc, etc, it just creates a ton of confusion. It may be plain to you (if you are a villager), but it's not to the rest of us.

[redwill]

Whew! I didn't know if I could post something that long...

[slappybrown]

Also, it is night, but great write up man.

[Pavel Bure]

viven de largo los lingotes

[newarenanow]

Whew! I didn't know if I could post something that long...

Great write up.

Summarized it great!

Great job village!!!

Night time.

[Malkamaniac]

Forever more, it's going down as one of the better plays in slug history, but no longer will it be salt NAN. It will be Salt Bure.

[mac5155]

salt pavel bure

just for lulz again

[dagny]

NO DELETING POSTS MAC!

[Malkamaniac]

NO DELETING POSTS MAC!

post what he said. We decided to do that last game didn't we.

[dagny]

Let me revise -- convinced you are a slug. Probably too agressive to be an alpha, but could easily be a slug.

Then you're not very good at this.

[dagny]

NO DELETING POSTS MAC!

post what he said. We decided to do that last game didn't we.

Once deleted, it's gone. I can only see that there was a deletion a little bit ago, what thread it was deleted from, and who deleted it.

rewill has deleted, too, but he's allowed to.

[dagny]

I can also see edits.

[Malkamaniac]

I can also see edits.

darn. Editing and deleting posts take away from the game.

[redwill]

NO DELETING POSTS MAC!

post what he said. We decided to do that last game didn't we.

Let's not get into this. Please let it drop.

If you're not me, please don't edit or delete posts. Leave it at that.

[Dan H]

Note to self: never get on redwill's bad side. Also, consider phoning Wichita police to have them check that shed hidden in his back yard for prisoners and torture implements.

[newarenanow]

Note to self: never get on redwill's bad side. Also, consider phoning Wichita police to have them check that shed hidden in his back yard for prisoners and torture implements.

You're dead and posted in here. You probably pissed him off.

[redwill]

Note to self: never get on redwill's bad side. Also, consider phoning Wichita police to have them check that shed hidden in his back yard for prisoners and torture implements.

Heh. I run a dog rescue, so I'm considering constructing a Brazen Shelter Dog for nasty, unethical breeders.

BTW, I had some other stuff for Pavel, like slowly breaking his kneecaps and dislocating his knees with gradually increasing weights, as well as him being forced to eat his own liver, and things like that. But the narrative was bogging down as it was...

[dagny]

Note to self: never get on redwill's bad side. Also, consider phoning Wichita police to have them check that shed hidden in his back yard for prisoners and torture implements.

Heh. I run a dog rescue, so I'm considering constructing a Brazen Shelter Dog for nasty, unethical breeders.

BTW, I had some other stuff for Pavel, like slowly breaking his kneecaps and dislocating his knees with gradually increasing weights, as well as him being forced to eat his own liver, and things like that. But the narrative was bogging down as it was...

You forgot to include me ripping his throat out with my fangs.

[mac5155]

Sorry I posted the same thing twice and deleted it out of habit

[Senka]

awesome sauce. It didnt really strike me as surprising at this point tho. zzzzz

[crayz]

wow, missed a lot today sorry. I was a bit hung over from yesterdays bears game and post-bears game party. Thought there was 24 hours so i still had time.

Good work on Pavel...His strategy wasn't bad, just a bit early to play it...oh well, lets get some more!

[redwill]

Write-up coming.


I will be on only once or twice tomorrow. One of my dogs is having surgery and I've got other things going on as well.

So let's keep the 24-hour rule in place for at least one more day phase. We can revisit shortening the day phases after that.

Thanks.